Not everything has to be productive

Some days I realize how everything in my routine needs to have a function, especially my free time. It feels like nothing can simply exist. Everything needs to serve a purpose.

Reading becomes “self-growth”, running becomes a “performance plan”, English becomes a “career advantage”. Even resting needs a purpose, with hours tracked on the smartwatch, as if the only valid rest is the one that prepares you to produce more later.

I admit that I fall into this trap sometimes. Running started as health and became a spreadsheet. Pace, heart rate, long progressive runs, strategy not to break at km 15, pressure from my running coach. English started as the desire to speak a second language and became a goal, a routine, daily consistency and also a corporate need. Books became a list, a ranking, a strategic reading order.

I am a person who likes structure. I like to see evolution. I like to measure progress. I think I work better this way. But when the result becomes the only reason, something feels empty. It misses that inner desire to do something just because you want to.

Recently I started a vinyl collection. I already bought more than 60 records. Jazz, Brazilian music, some risky choices that I bought just out of curiosity. There are records that I studied the price, compared pressings, even thought about resale. But most of the time, I just put one on and listen. I sit there looking at the cover while the music plays. I rediscovered how to really listen to music. It is soooo different from just opening Spotify and doing something else at the same time.

The fact is that nobody ever asked me “what is the return of this?” or “what are you going to gain with this old stuff?”

But when I say that I take English classes almost every day, the question always comes: “Is it for work?” Sometimes it is. Many times it is not. Sometimes it is just because I like to practice. There is no fluency deadline. It is just curiosity and the desire to learn another language. And curiosity alone is already enough for me.

The same happens with Home Assistant, my homelab, or chess. Some things really solve problems. Automating lights, air conditioning, making life easier. But many things are just the pleasure of experimenting. That late-night engineering that starts simple and ends with you restarting the server at 2 a.m., hoping it will boot again without reinstalling everything. It is not about efficiency. It is about the joy of technology.

If it does not help your career, your money, your health… something “useful”, it feels like a waste. But sometimes it is just part of life.